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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Meghan Metcalf and her son Hunter speak to the memory of 17-year-old Austin Metcalf after an altercation at a Frisco, Texas, track meet turned deadly.
An intoxicated person randomly stabbed six people and himself in Washington, D.C., according to the Metropolitan Police Department.
Some are looking to the 2026 NFL Draft and the potential of drafting Arch Manning out of Texas, but ESPN's Adam Schefter is warning NFL teams who may "tank for Arch" in 2025.
Ahead of his Doral course hosting a LIV Golf tournament, President Donald Trump said he wants the new tour and the PGA Tour to "merge."
Liberal columnist Eugene Robinson says he's leaving The Post as a result of the editorial shift being enforced by its billionaire owner Jeff Bezos.
T.J. Finley, who recently transferred to his fifth school in Tulane, was arrested this week for allegedly possessing a stolen vehicle and has been suspended from the team.
The family of Calvin Dickey Jr. has filed a lawsuit against Bucknell University claiming negligence in the death of their son, who died after collapsing during a team practice.
The Trump administration lays out its demands for Harvard to combat antisemitism in order to keep receiving federal funding, including banning masks.
Republicans in the Senate started the process for passing a new version of President Donald Trump's budget to tackle the southern border and extend the 2017 tax cuts.
Nathanial "Nate" G. Baker was killed after being struck on his motorcycle by a truck driven by Rosali Fernandez-Cruz, according to police.
Satire
HEAVEN — Representatives from the Pearly Gates have unveiled a special, exclusive VIP lounge for faithful believers who took the time each week to attend Wednesday night church services.
WASHINGTON—Seeking to reassure the public after his latest tariffs sent both U.S. and international markets into free fall, President Donald Trump calmly reminded the nation Thursday that desire is the root of all suffering. “My fellow Americans, remember that attachment to worldly things stands
Following a biochemical analysis, parishioners of an Indiana church were informed that the red substance on a communion wafer they thought to be the blood of Christ was actually fungus and three different species of bacteria commonly found on human hands. What do you think?
The post Communion Wafer
The post CNBC Hosts Sit In Stunned Silence For 19th Consecutive Hour appeared first on The Onion.
SALINA, KS — Local man Jared Halderman reportedly went through a period of confused bewilderment after realizing he was unsure whether the band Mumford & Sons actually existed or if he had just imagined it.
WASHINGTON—Giving Democrats a sense of hope for the first time in months, Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) reportedly set the congressional record this week for the longest fingernails on the Senate floor. “With your support, I have grown my fingernails to eight feet and three-quarters inches,” said Bo
ANAHEIM, CA — Angels outielder Mike Trout found himself on the injured list once again after he was unexpectedly crushed by a falling piano during his first at bat in last night's loss to the St. Louis Cardinals.
According to economists, Trump's tariffs are currently running the global economy into the ground.
WASHINGTON—Saying that Americans should anticipate certain lifestyle changes as a result of his newly announced tariffs, President Donald Trump informed the nation Thursday that they better start liking those little canned wieners. “Hope you aren’t too attached to whatever fancy crap you eat n
Significant mystery has cloaked a 14,400-square-foot Tuscan-style villa and a second, adjacent mansion purchased by the world’s richest man for himself and his extensive family. Here, The Onion uncovers what’s inside Elon Musk’s $35 million Texas compound.
The post Inside Elon Musk’s Texas
LOS ANGELES, CA — Major League Baseball's hottest franchise suddenly and unexpectedly announced the suspension of all operations today, as the Los Angeles Dodgers were bankrupted after President Donald Trump placed a 25% tariff on all Japanese players.
RAFAH, GAZA—Responding to reports that 15 rescue workers in Gaza were killed execution style and buried in a mass grave, Israel claimed this week that the slain Palestinians did not properly identify themselves as human. “Unfortunately, upon their encounter with IDF soldiers, these Palestinians
Devastating: This Man Is Wearing Socks And He Just Stepped In A Little Wet Spot On The Kitchen Floor
MILWAUKEE, WI — Local man Aiden Jackson suffered a devastating blow earlier today after he stepped in a little wet spot on the kitchen floor while wearing socks.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans are celebrating today after the genius President Trump imposed taxes on imports, instantly tricking Democrats into hating taxes.
After performing as a musical guest on the show to promote his upcoming album, Morgan Wallen made headlines when he abruptly left the Saturday Night Live stage. Here is everything you need to know about the artist. Birthplace: Bass Pro Shops Pyramid, Tennessee Genre: See name Default Setting: Aggrie
TECOLUCA, EL SALVADOR—Saying things had only gone downhill after a terrible morning, lawful U.S. resident Oscar Fernandez-Lopez, 38, stated Wednesday that he had already been having a bad day before being deported to the Salvadoran mega-prison known as CECOT. “I knew things were heading in the w
BEND, OR—Pointing out how the 4-year-old Jack Russell terrier was already shaking with anticipation, avid bungee jumper Isaac Branch confirmed Thursday that his dog also loves bungee jumping. “Rocko’s obsessed with bungee jumping—he does it all the time!” said Branch, 25, who described the
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump welcomed a surprise guest to the Oval Office as Elton John, standing a surprising six feet tall, stopped by for the signing of executive orders regarding concert tickets.
U.S. — In a surprising turn of events, Senator Cory Booker's 25-hour filibuster record that was just set on Tuesday was broken by your wife.
Sports
PGMOL has admitted that Everton defender James Tarkowski should have been sent off through a VAR review in the Merseyside derby on Wednesday night.
Spain's sports ministry (CSD) have ruled that Dani Olmo and Pau Víctor can continue to play for Barcelona until the end of the season.
Arsenal defender Gabriel Magalhaes requires surgery on his hamstring injury and will miss the rest of the season as a result.
Javier Mascherano questioned the decision to not send off Nathan Ordaz, saying it would have prompted a red card "here and in China and the moon."
The Zambia women's national team have removed their four U.S.-based players from the squad for the Yongchuan International Tournament in China due to concerns over U.S. travel measures, the Zambia FA said on Wednesday.
Gianni Infantino said the United States and the United Kingdom are poised to be named as hosts of the Women's World Cup in 2031 and 2035, respectively.
A push to expand the men's 2030 World Cup to 64 teams is "a bad idea," UEFA president Aleksander Čeferin said on Thursday.
Could Chelsea's next move be for Borussia Dortmund winger Jamie Gittens? Transfer Talk has the latest news, gossip and rumors.
Safety? Aesthetics? Competitive advantage? The real reasons why some teams want to ban the tush push
It wasn't just about a polarizing on-field rule. It was a window into the back-channel politics of the rules process.
Kane has his eyes on finally achieving club silverware for the first time in his career.
Aaron Judge became the third-fastest New York Yankees player to reach 500 extra-base hits, trailing only Joe DiMaggio and Lou Gehrig.
The Cincinnati Bearcats' Dillon Mitchell rose for a strong fastbreak flush vs. the UCF Knights in the College Basketball Crown.
Check out the best highlights between the Colorado Rockies and the Philadelphia Phillies.
Check out the best highlights between the Boston Red Sox and the Baltimore Orioles.
Check out the best moments between the Houston Astros and the Minnesota Twins.
Aaron Judge blasted a three-run homer to give the New York Yankees a lead over the Arizona Diamondbacks.
In a Final Four that features all No. 1 seeds, bookmakers are still rooting for an underdog to have a storybook ending. Patrick Everson breaks it all down.
UConn senior Paige Bueckers is considered one of the greatest women's basketball players in program history, but is still chasing that elusive national championship.
Ken Whisenhunt returns to the sidelines for the Showboats, while the Stallions look to rebound on the road vs. the Panthers.
Chris Broussard unveils this week's BUD list, including Russell Westbrook (after wasting Nikola Jokic's 61-point night) and Ja Morant being Under Duress.
Tech
After a January announcement that it would spend $80 billion on data center construction, Microsoft may already be adjusting its future plans. Sources told Bloomberg that Microsoft has delayed or slowed data center efforts in Indonesia, the UK, Australia, Illinois, North Dakota and Wisconsin. Some o
Traeger's only gas-powered grill is its Flatrock flat-top griddle. Besides this one model, everything else in the company's lineup runs on wood pellets. Since griddles continue to be insanely popular backyard cooking tools, Traeger is expanding its Flatrock line with a smaller, two-burner option. Th
Yesterday, we learned a lot about the Switch 2 we didn't know before, including the fact Nintendo that will offer a webcam alongside the new console. As far as accessories go, the $50 Switch 2 Camera looks boring, and judging from the footage the company shared on Wednesday, not particularly great a
A Complete Unknown, Anora, and Jurassic Park are just a few of the movies you need to watch on Hulu right now.
YouTube is updating the video editor for Shorts to better compete with the likes of TikTok and Instagram Reels, and teasing some AI-powered features that are coming later this year that might make it stand out.
The new and improve editor will let users "make precise adjustments and edits to the timi
Verizon just revealed a new price lock policy that guarantees certain plans won’t go up in cost for three years. This is for both new and existing customers. It was announced the day after President Trump decided to tariff the entire world, which put markets into a tailspin. Verizon didn’t speci
This week's Nintendo Direct provided much more info about the Switch 2 but didn't go too deep into the nitty-gritty details of what powers the console. That left NVIDIA, the Mario maker's hardware partner on the console's processor and GPU, to fill in some blanks with a blog post published on Thursd
Sarah Wynn-Williams, the former Facebook policy director behind a best-selling memoir about her time at the company, will testify at a Senate Judiciary subcommittee hearing next week. The testimony will be Wynn-Williams’ first public remarks since Meta initiated emergency arbitration proceedings i
Google’s Pixel Buds Pro 2 earbuds are on sale via Amazon for just $179. This is a record-low price, as they normally cost $229. This deal is available for multiple colorways, including black, pink, beige and green.
These little cuties easily made our list of the best wireless earbuds. We admired
The original Switch started a revolution when it combined the portability of handhelds with the ability to play games on your TV at home like a traditional console. But with the Nintendo Switch 2, even though it's physically bigger, it feels like a sleeker, faster and more refined take on its predec
TikTok will reportedly face a fine of over €500 million ($553 million) for transferring Europeans' private data to China. Bloomberg said on Thursday that Ireland's data protection commission, which regulates TikTok owner ByteDance's EU operations, could dish out the penalty before the end of April
The US is barreling toward a recession for no good reason, and dragging the world—and a few thousand penguins on remote Antarctic islands—down with it.
The hoodie is a work-from-home security blanket. But in the office, it’s a trap.
Nintendo’s pricey new Switch 2 has been updated to create a product that feels both familiar and improved. WIRED spent some time with it.
These mid-tier earbuds have 15 hours of battery life with noise canceling, and a magnetic design that keeps them charged—no case required.
These are the best umbrellas we’ve tested. They’ll protect you from showers and heavy rain and will hold up for the long haul.
An art studio hopes its concept for a phone case that can flip around to cover most of your screen will help cure your screen addiction.
Get 50% off select appliances, 15% off most regular-price items, free delivery, and other great savings today on WIRED.
Save 20% online and when you visit your local H&R Block store. You can save up to $50 when you use one of our (unique) codes.
Apple, Amazon, and other tech companies reliant on global supply chains stand to lose the most from President Trump’s trade policies, but some software firms expect more demand for their services.
Entertainment
Mel Gibson is having his right to bear arms restored ... and his support for President Trump sounds like it's playing a big role. Trump's Justice Department is going to allow Mel to own guns again despite him pleading no contest in 2011 to a…
Drama is unfolding in David Beckham's family, with 2 of his sons beefing over a woman -- not in a jealous way, but more a question of her motives. Sources connected to the family tell TMZ … Brooklyn and Romeo Beckham are not on speaking terms…
Here's the first look at Jason Clarke in character as Alex Murdaugh on the set of an upcoming Hulu series about some infamous murders. Jason is starring in "The Murdaugh Murders" alongside Patricia Arquette as Alex's wife, Maggie Murdaugh. Hulu's…
The trade that sent Luka Doncic from the Dallas Mavericks to Los Angeles was truly historic … and now, Lakers fans have their chance to bid on a significant memento -- one of his earliest game-worn jerseys!! SCP Auctions got its hands on the…
A new trailer for "Superman" has dropped ... and, it's giving fans a longer look at Krypto the Superdog -- and, a peek inside the Fortress of Solitude. The new clip -- which runs about five minutes long -- came out Thursday, and while it features…
These celebs at the end of the rainbow are shinin' bright and feelin' right ... No worries if you're not able to find a rainbow, or a pot of gold, for National Find a Rainbow Day ... TMZ's got your back! Feelin' lucky, celebs like Christian…
Blake Lively might want to look over the food handler's license test ... 'cause her free-flowing locks have put a Connecticut donut shop she helped out under a microscope. Here's the deal ... earlier this week, Lively helped out a friend who owns a…
DJ Akademiks is the latest media maven to interview The Artist Formerly Known As Kanye West -- and from his POV, the marbles are still there!!! Big Ak joined Charles and Babcock on "TMZ Live" on Thursday to discuss his explosive stand-up chat with…
Hayley Kiyoko is celebrating another trip around the sun ... and she's looking hotter than the sun in these hot shots!!! The "Girls Like Girls" singer is big on showing off her boobs and butt in a wide range of bikinis ... and she's got the pics to…
Young Thug is not going back to jail ... the judge says his repost revealing the identity of a cop testifying in a murder trial did not violate his probation. Judge Whitaker said Thug's social media post on Tuesday -- reposting a blogger's photo of…
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